Today I Feel Lonely

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Why is it so hard for us to admit to ourselves and to others that we’re lonely? It is after all a normal part of our emotional cycles. There’s a certain pressure that society puts on us and we put on ourselves to make sure that everyone knows we’re happy. Sometimes, we also have a certain image that we think we need to protect and no one can know that we’re ever lonely.

Over the past years, I’ve learned to be honest and vulnerable enough to confess that every once in a while, I feel lonely. And it is in naming that emotion that actually makes loneliness lose its power over me. Acknowledging it doesn’t mean that it disappears. But once you start to realize it, you start taking steps to feel it, to understand it, and eventually to vanquish it. 

Talk to people you can trust to understand you. Go to a place that brings you joy. Read a book or temporarily escape into a story. Eat your comfort food. Write it out in your journal. And most importantly, cry out your loneliness to God. He understands what it means to be lonely, abandoned, forsaken. He will comfort you. He will bring you peace and joy that surpasses understanding. 

 

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Write a piece of poem or prose that expresses your current state of loneliness. It doesn't have to be a great piece of literature, just an honest expression of what you're feeling now.

 

JOURNALING PROMPT

What do you think are the things, people, or circumstances that are causing you to feel lonely? 

 

When you feel lonely

...talk to someone even about trivial stuff

...visit a nearby place that brings you joy

...read or re-read a book you can escape to

...eat your comfort food (even if it becomes cheat day)

...write out random thoughts and feelings in your journal

...do a simple hobby that brings you joy

...list out things you're grateful for

...treat yourself to something simple but nice

...cry out to God

Today I Will Do Nothing

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We’ve been programmed to feel guilty when we do absolutely nothing for a day or for a few hours. Even if it’s a weekend, sometimes I find myself trying to set a schedule for myself just so I do not waste the day away. But there are times when you absolutely have to do nothing in order to recharge your body, mind, and soul.

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is Elijah and his nap time under the Juniper tree. When he was overwhelmed and running for his life, he lay down and slept. God let him rest and do nothing. He even sent an angel to feed him and then he slept again. So why do we feel guilty when we are given a day or days when we can just rest and do nothing?

When you read the rest of Elijah’s story after this period, you will realize why rest is part of our natural rhythm. We need this time to prepare ourselves for the great and simple tasks ahead. More importantly, we will be able to hear His voice that can sometimes be drowned out by all our schedules, lists, and activities.

 

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING (OR NOTHING):

Schedule a Saturday where you will do absolutely nothing. Put it in your calendar and let the people around you know about this “do nothing” day.

 

JOURNALING PROMPT

After your “just do nothing” day, write down a stream-of-consciousness journaling entry, writing down all the emotions and thoughts and random things that you felt while doing nothing.


Today I Must Talk to Someone

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When I’m in the midst of depression or even just a sad period, my first instinct is to just keep it to myself and deal with it on my own. I know that I'm not in a good place when I would rather justc cancel plans or choose not to see anyone. There are times when that works or you need to do that if you need more self-reflection and time on your own to process your feelings. But there are also times when it will get to be too much and you're just choosing to retreat into yourself because it's easier. It's harder to be vulnerable and to tell someone, "I need to talk" or "I need help".

Reaching out and talking to someone, whether it’s a peer, a mentor, a counselor, a leader, is very important when you know that you are spiraling and you are not handling things well. Do not think that you are just being a burden to another person by sharing your troubles. We are not meant to go through life alone and sometimes, all you need is to be able to tell another person what you are going through. They may not always be able to give you advise but you can have someone help you process your feelings or your situation. Sometimes even, you just need someone to listen to you as you unburden yourself.

 

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Set a date with a trusted friend that you can talk to (and ask permission if they’re in a good head space to listen to you)

 

JOURNALING PROMPT

What stops you from talking to someone even though you know you’re not handling your situation well? What are things that you need to change in order to start being more open to trusted people?

 

“Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2 (ESV)

Today I Decide To Drop the Phone

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Because I worked in digital marketing for more than 15 years, I sometimes make it an excuse to scroll continuously on various apps until the wee hours of the morning under the guise of “research”. I said I couldn't really turn off social media because it's my actual work, even though a lot of times whatever I was scrolling through isn't really work-related. During the pandemic and even afterwards though, I’ve made it a habit of doom-scrolling until I cry or reach the brink of giving up on my country, the world, and life in general. Even when things got back to "normal" or whatever it is we have now, my phone seems to be attached to my hand and I had a hard time putting it down. Now I can't stop watching vertical dramas, going through recipes that I may never try, and reading all about the latest k-land gossip and issues.

Obviously, this never-ending scrolling keeps me up at night and does not help keep my anxiety at bay. And when it turns into doomscrolling or reading and watching all the things that are wrong with this broken world, it adds to this feeling of helplessness and hopelessness I sometimes feel. I would like to say that now that my work isn't connected to social media, it's easier to put the phone down. Well, I wish I could say that but the truth is, it isn't really. So it means that this scrolling addiction wasn't really about my job. It was really more about a habit that I've developed and this incessant need to know everything, even if it doesn't help my sleep and my mental health.

I've been doing some practical things to help me put my phone down every once in a while, especially at night. When I go outside, I bring an "analog kit" with me, which is really mostly just my journaling stuff and a book or two. There are times during the day when I keep my phone away from me so I would resist the urge to give in and scroll a few hours away. And at night, I try to put a hard stop on my scrolling and put the phone far away to keep the temptation to pick it up again when my mind wanders and my eyes don't want to close.

Scrolling and doomscrolling is probably something that most of us will always do. But it should not take over our lives and reaching for our phones should not be automatic. So maybe have a few hours or even a whole day away from your phone and see what magical things happen.

 

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Create your own "analog kit" that you can bring outside with you so you can stop just scrolling through your phone when you're not doing anything. You can put a notebook, pens, journaling stuff, a book, a crossword puzzle, a coloring book, a sketchpad, etc

JOURNALING PROMPT:

What are things that can make you stop scrolling on your phone? List them down and refer to them every once in a while so you develop a habit of not picking up your phone.

 

How to Scroll Less

  1. Move social apps off your home screen

  2. Set phone-free times for meals and bedtime

  3. Keep your phone out of reach while working

  4. Replace one scroll break with a short walk

  5. Bring an “analog kit” with you and reach for it often

Today I Am Determined

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"If you just set your mind to it, you can do anything you want."

How many times have you heard that or some version of it from various self-help books and gurus or on memes on Reels and Tiktok? But then you find yourself frustrated when you are unable to achieve that thing that you wanted no matter how much you tried or think you tried. Determination = success is not a magic spell that you can shout and your wishes will be granted. 

Rather, determination is an attitude that needs to be developed. You are determined to accomplish something because you know it plays to your strengths and skills. You are determined to finish something even if you're faced with difficulties because you know that this is something that will benefit you or someone else. You are determined to focus on your goals without getting distracted because this is something that you need to do.

But again, determination is not something that you can just positive think your way to. It takes commitment to see something through. It takes discipline to do what you're supposed to do. It takes focus to not get easily distracted. And most importantly, it takes adaptability when things don't go as planned and acceptance if that goal is not something that you will be able to achieve.

It takes a certain kind of determination to go for things that you want, things that align with your values and what you believe in. But there's also a certain kind of bravery to accept things when they're not happening even if you've given it your all. It's okay to be disappointed but eventually you should also be determined to pick yourself up, rest for a while, and then go for something else.

 

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Write out the practical steps that you need to do for a specific project you're determined to finish. 

 

JOURNALING PROMPT

What are your goals for the next three months and what steps do you need to take to accomplish them?

 

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." Theodore Roosevelt

Today I Feel Uninspired

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Wouldn’t it be nice if we woke up every day fully inspired to do what it is we know we are meant to do? That we are always full of ideas and energy, raring to go and conquer our corner of the world?

But as anyone who has been working for years knows, there are days when you drag yourself to work and the well has run dry. There are times when no matter how hard you squeeze your brain, nothing comes out and you just want to zone out and do nothing. Do you just force yourself to slog through even though you have no idea what to do? Or do you just stare into space and wait until inspiration finally strikes you?

Well, you can actually choose to do something in between. Inspiration doesn’t really drop down from the heavens exactly when you need it. Sometimes you have to work to find it. Sometimes you have to go out and try out different things until something inspires you, even if it sometimes forces you to stop first and do something else other than your actual work. There are also days when you just have to finish the tasks you're supposed to do even if they seem "uninspired". There are also times when you just have to call it a day and just just try to find inspiration tomorrow.

Inspiration is not instant nor is it a magical solution. You just have to learn to surround yourself with things, people, and experiences that can bring it out for you.

 

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING

Take 30 minutes away from what you’re doing and do something else that can inspire you.

 

JOURNALING PROMPT:

For the next 21 days, list something every day that brings you inspiration. 

 

Where to find inspiration:

  • Music

  • Books

  • Talking

  • Nature

  • Art

  • Sleep

  • Travel

  • Scrolling/Bingeing

  • Cooking/Eating

  • Doing nothing

  • Coffee

  • Road trip

  • Playing games

Today I Will Ask Out A Friend

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There's this post going around on Threads and X where people ask if there are actual people who can stay at home the whole day without talking to someone. I laugh because that person is me. As long as I have internet or I have a book to read or a show to watch, I can survive days without talking to an actual person. This was true even before the pandemic and it became a reality when we were in quarantine. There were days when the words "Just leave the package at the lobby" were the only words I will say out loud during the day (that's for Grab or Shopee delivery people). I mean, yes, I would occasionally chat with people and let my family know I’m still alive but I can happily just exist within my bubble with just myself for company.

But the first time I actually met with friends outside of my house after months of isolation during that whole covid thing, I almost cried from relief. I finally realized the importance of truly connecting with people beyond Zoom calls and chat boxes. God created us to be social creatures and to make connections with others. We need to listen to their stories, to cry and laugh with them, to assure each other that we’re not alone. That famous saying "No man is an island" is not just a trite quote but something that we actually live by.

You might be a person that revels being around people so connection is probably not an issue for you. Or you might be the kind of person who prefers your own company most of the time and that’s okay, too. But if you're the latter, every once in a while, let other people into your world. Even better, actually be the one to reach out to someone. You might think you don’t need to and that you can survive on your own. But maybe, someone else might need you right now. So go ahead and ask that friend out that you've been meaning to see and talk to for some time now.

 

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Set a coffee (or tea or matcha or lunch) date with someone you feel the need to connect with. It might even be someone in your own home! Don’t put it off till next week or month. Do it now and set a specific date so it won't be a "one of these days" or someday.

 

JOURNALING PROMPT:

What prevents me from connecting with other people? What habits or attitudes do I need to change in order to cultivate the need to be with other people?

 

“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.“ - Helen Keller

Today I Must Plan Ahead

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I am not the most organized person in the world. One glance at my apartment (please don’t look) will prove that. But when it comes to my planners, there’s a certain joy that I feel when I sit down and plan out my month, week, or even my day. The past year, I didn't have much to write in my schedule since I'm working from home most of the time, but I do plan out future things I plan on doing, live sports events I'm watching, even shows or books I'm planning to consume. At the beginning of each day, I also write out all the things I need to finish and there’s satisfaction in crossing out things from that list. Planning things out means that you’re trying to create order in a world of chaos. But it doesn’t mean that you will not be flexible when things don’t go to plan (although sometimes, I am annoyed when things have to be canceled). It’s also important to learn to adjust to changes and disruptions and not stubbornly stick to things just because it’s written in your planner. 

Writing things out when you plan actually helps your brain improve the encoding process and these things gets stored in our long-term memory. Don't take my word for it, neuroscience says so. That is why it’s also important to write down your goals, priorities, and things you want to accomplish instead of just saying “It’s just there stored in my head”. In the long run, they might disappear, especially as you get older. It also helps to create plans for each goal so that they won't remain just in your bucket list. Planning things out for both the simple things and the big life plans will help you reach those goals eventually.

 

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Write down your schedule, goals, and targets for the month, both professionally and personally. Place it somewhere where you usually see it so you won’t forget it. It may be your cork board, your desk, or a planner that you open daily. It doesn't have to be something aesthetic or instagrammable or well-written. It can just be a running list, bullet points, or a calendar format. The important thing is to take a look at it and check or cross things out once you've done them.

 

JOURNALING PROMPT:

Are you afraid to set goals for yourself? What’s stopping you from doing so? What changes do you need to do in order to be more goal-oriented?

 

Today I Decide To Admit I'm Not Ok

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I grew up in an era where you always had to pretend to be okay even if you weren't. You had to answer "I'm great" when people ask how you are even though you felt like crumbling inside. You had to smile when hanging out with friends or else they would look at you strangely or ignore you. You had to say "Praise God" or "Thank you Lord" in church even though your faith was teetering on the edge. We all had to put on masks and pretend that everything was okay because we were not ready for an honest conversation. Or we didn't want to be judged that there was something wrong with you or that our faith wasn't enough.

The world eventually realized though that we weren't really all okay and no matter how much we pretended, things would eventually come out. We also realized that there’s a certain beauty to being vulnerable enough to admit that “I’m not okay”. Everyone is just scared and messed up deep inside. Everyone was going through complicated things and no one really has it all together. Everyone cannot really be okay every day. There are times when you're feeling low, you can't bring yourself to smile or even talk, or you just want to say, "No, I'm not" when someone asks if you're okay.

It’s in admitting that things are not okay and that you don’t know when you'll be okay that we become truly human. It's in recognizing that there's something wrong that we can slowly face these "monsters" and deal with them. It’s in acknowledging our vulnerabilities to trusted people that we are able to let them into our life and that in turn, they can also learn to let us in too. We are all just trying to be okay but it's also okay to say that we're not okay.

 

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Choose a person that you can be vulnerable with and say out loud “I’m not okay”. 

 

JOURNALING PROMPT

What are the things in your life right now that you can honestly say are not okay?

 

Today I Am Hopeful

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In a world full of cynics , post-modernists, and pessimists, to feel hopeful day by day is a rare and beautiful thing. If you wake up and feel that the world is still a beautiful place despite the difficulties that you have been facing lately, embrace that feeling. If you still feel that way before you sleep, whether you had a good or bad day, that is a precious gift. It's very easy to give in to hopelessness because of circumstances, feelings, or just how the world generally is. This hopeful feeling can disappear in a flash if suddenly faced with things and people that may dim this spark inside of us.

So it's important to develop a hopeful attitude rather than just trying to "think positive" all the time. Having a hopeful attitude means trying to see the good in people around you, even if some of them may be a bit challenging. It means reframing how you see difficulties and setbacks you may face by focusing on things that can be in your control. It means celebrating small wins when they come and developing active gratitude. It means focusing on the present while learning from the mistakes of the past and looking forward to the better possibilities of the future.

Most importantly, having a hopeful attitude means realizing that true hope cannot depend on things, people, or circumstances. They are constantly shifting and eventually unreliable. Real and lasting hope must be anchored in Christ, who remains entirely constant through every season of life. When your heart is rooted in Him who is unchanging, that Hope becomes the ultimate anchor of your soul. That Hope can give you the steady confidence to always be hopeful no matter what challenges come your way.

 

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Create a hope tracker for the next 21 days. Mark the days when you wake up feeling hopeful and if you still feel the same at the end of the day. This tracker can show you if you're developing a hopeful attitude and maybe change how you approach life if you're struggling.

 

JOURNALING PROMPT

What are things that you're currently feeling hopeful about? How do you think you can develop a more hopeful attitude?

 

“Hope is the anthem of my soul.” - Switchfoot

 

Today I Feel Anxious

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Anxiety is a new “friend” that I met during the pandemic (which seems like both so recent and so ancient) Normally, I could set aside these fleeting, anxious thoughts and positive think my way out of them. But suddenly, I started to recognize that nauseous, overwhelming, panicky feeling that I only previously read about. I couldn’t sleep just thinking about all the things that could go wrong. I sometimes couldn’t breathe whenever I doom scroll through social media (and I couldn't stop scrolling). I would sometimes stare into space, paralyzed by thoughts and feelings of anxiety. It was an ugly, unfamiliar feeling and I didn't know how to really deal with it at that time. I'm pretty sure a lot of us went through different levels of anxiety during that time.

It's gotten better since then but there are still moments when this unwanted friend would show up unexpectedly. It can happen when I'm in the middle of a crowd and I can't seem to breathe; while I'm out alone in an unfamiliar space; when I'm with friends and something was said that I can't get out of my head; when I'm alone at night, remembering things I need to do or failed to do; when I'm excited but then remembered something that might go wrong. Sometimes I can just brush it off especially when I'm with other people but pressing thoughts can be debilitating.

What has really helped is that I eventually learned to live with it instead of getting anxious about getting anxious. As they say, you can make it your friend. A friend that you don't want to see often, of course. Grounding techniques have helped me get out of moments when it becomes overwhelming. Finding out my triggers also helps me prepare for when an episode may possibly happen. I also tried different coping mechanisms to see which work - journaling, taking a walk, turning off my WiFi, drinking a cup of my favorite beverage, talking to someone, listening to music, reading a familiar book, even watching a brainless vertical drama. You need to find out what can help you get through it and it might take a lot of trial and error but when you find things that work, keep them in mind.

But most importantly, it is in these moments that I slowly learned to breathe things out to God. It’s not the time for “formal” prayer but just this natural act of exhaling all of my anxiety to the One who says that we can cast all our burdens onto Him. There are moments when all you can cry out is “Lord” and I know that is enough. Praying and exhaling doesn’t always get rid of my anxiety but it does help me breathe a little easier. 

Living with anxiety can be difficult, especially if it's the crippling kind. But there is always hope, maybe not to totally overcome it, but to learn how to live with it.

IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

Try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique when you’re feeling anxious

Name or acknowledge:

5 things you can see

4 things you can touch

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell, 

1 thing you can taste. 

 

JOURNALING PROMPT:

What are things that have been causing you to feel anxious lately? What are things that are helping you deal with it?

 

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT)

Today, I Will Write Out My Feelings

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Ever since social media has taken over our lives, the default action whenever we experience a strong emotion is to post about it on our platforms. I am oftentimes guilty of this. But as we’ve all experienced at one point or another, it’s not always the smartest move. We do need an outlet to let out all these emotions but Facebook or Twitter or anything that’s a public or semi-public space is not always the best or safest choice. There are times when we overshare or we regret something we post (sure you can delete it, but the Internet never forgets) or some will weaponize this against us.

Journaling has been a life-saving tool for me ever since I learned to write out my thoughts in a noteboook. Having a private platform for all my deepest, darkest, and most joyous thoughts has helped me process a lot of emotions and happenings in my life over the years. If you’re nodding your head while reading with this, then you know and understand what I mean. But if you haven’t taken that first journaling step yet, then today is the day. Whatever it is that you’re feeling now, there’s a notebook (or an app on your phone) that’s waiting to hear what it is you have to say. 

"I will tell this to my journal" is sometimes the automatic thought I have now whenever something happens or when I feel some overwhelming emotion. And because I have also become really forgetful, my journals have become a repository of everything that has happened to me.

I will be making separate detailed posts on journaling soon but here are some that I wrote previously:

6 Ways to Journal If You Can’t Consistently Write

30 Journaling Prompts You Can Use

Journaling For Mental Health


IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING:

If you haven’t started journaling yet, pick out any blank notebook in your house or open your phone’s Notes app. Then start out with a letter to yourself and pour out all your thoughts and feelings for today.


JOURNALING PROMPT:

Write a letter to yourself, to the you 1 year from now. Read it after a year to see how far you’ve come and how different you are in a year. Add a reminder on your planner, calendar, or reminder app to read it in a year.

 

Why Journal?

  • Process emotions

  • Spark creativity

  • Improve writing

  • Be grateful

  • Memory keeper

  • Have fun

What Is 100 Days of Self-Care?

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100 Days of Self-Care was originally created as a unique devotional, not meant to be read chronologically but to choose what resonates with you. It was designed to help people navigate their emotions and take actionable steps to help them deal with it.

Things and plans changed so now it's going to be a series of blog posts, still with the same purpose - to share with you the different things that I've been feeling and thinking about, to help you put down some of your own thoughts on paper (or on pixels), and to have some concrete steps you may need to take.

The entries will be divided into five sections

✨ Today, I Will

✨ Today, I Feel

✨ Today, I Am

✨ Today, I Think

✨ Today, I Must

Each entry offers:

✨ A short reflection to encourage and uplift you

✨ A practical action step to help you move forward

✨ A journaling prompt for self-discovery

✨ A visual element, from calligraphy to infographics to my own journal spreads

Whether you need motivation, comfort, or clarity, I hope that this series can become your personal guide to finding strength, peace, and purpose—one day at a time.

I will start posting on September 23, which is exactly 100 days until 2026 ends (wait, what?). Join me on https://www.idaflutterby.com/100daysselfcare and on my Facebook, Instagram, and Threads (@idaflutterby)

I hope you can join me and maybe share my posts with friends who may need to read something as well.

I'm excited to start this journey (finally!) and I also know that as I go through these next 100 days, I will start rediscovering myself again. I hope you will too.




#100DaysofSelfCare #IdaWrites