His (excerpt from Letters to A Single Woman)

I don’t have my own words to post today, but I wanted to share with you the words of one of those women that have inspired me to write my own book.

Karen and I aren’t particularly close, in the sense that we don’t talk every day or often. But when we do talk, when I run into her in the office, when we chat every once in a while, when I read the words she has written, I feel inspired and blessed to know her. She keeps reminding me that I have to write my own book someday and that is both scary and exciting.

If you’re single and struggling or single and happy or even maybe not single but interested in what older, single women go through, I highly recommend you read her Letters to A Single Woman (shameless plugging coz we published it ahaha).

Here is one of the chapters in the book that has resonated with me the most, probably coz it’s about writing and also the inadequacy we sometimes feel.


“There’s nothing like writing a book to make you keenly feel your inadequacy and unworthiness. After turning on my computer this morning, I was almost overwhelmed by the gravity of the undertaking ahead. Lord, help me, I prayed, plagued by insecurity.

The experience of inadequacy comes to us all. Blessings can bring it. We may feel it when we have been promoted at work, moved to another country, or been assigned a work project or family responsibility. We feel a weight on our shoulders when we think of the days ahead, wondering if we will measure up.

It’s the same for our singlehood. We may think of our life and wonder, Can I really build a meaningful life as a single woman? Can I do it?

But, remember — our life is not our own. It belongs to Jesus, who paid for our life with His blood. And so our singlehood belongs to Him. Also, whatever skills and talents we have; whatever possessions, relationships, opportunities, or resources — even our time, health, and ability to think and make decisions — are all His. It is not for us to dictate their use and end.

When we take on full responsibility for something, including its outcome, when we stake our worth and credibility on something — that’s when we feel our utter inadequacy. Our Father in Heaven doesn’t call us to be responsible for all the results of what we do — He only calls us to be faithful in our obedience.

No wonder I’d felt so exhausted when thinking about this book! I’d been trying to cover everything — fretting over what people would think and worrying if the book would resonate with readers. But all God required of me, really, was to depend on Him one day at a time and follow His leading.

The single life is filled with pathways which must be traversed with wisdom and skill. We see these paths and may be afraid because we feel we’re not brilliant or wise enough to walk them. But we will never be enough. That’s how the Lord designed us to be. That’s why, on these paths, we’re not called to lead ourselves — we’re called to follow Him.

Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” In the light of who God is, awareness of our inadequacy isn’t a bad thing. It reminds us that we’re not God — He is.

“Lord, help me” may be the most powerful prayer we can ever pray.”