I sit on the side of the road and I heard He was passing by. And so when I feel Him draw near, I cry out...
"Lord, Son of God, help me!"
He gently asks, "My child, what do you want from me?"
And so decades of pain and longing bursts forth from me.
Lord, I cannot see.
I cannot see myself as You see me.
All that I see is what the world wants me to believe
That I am fat
That I am ugly
That I am unfashionable
That I am not interesting enough to get to know
That I am clumsy
That I am dirty
That I am sinful
That I am unloved
That I am unworthy
That I am not enough
But Lord, I know that if You open my eyes, I can see myself the way You see me.
But do I trust You enough to believe You?
Because after all, You are biased because You love me unconditionally.
But that should be enough right?
So instead of just showing me how You see me, what I want is for You to show me that Your love is enough.
That even if the world thinks those things about me, that shouldn't hinder me from doing what I love, from loving people, from doing what You want me to do and that is to bring glory to Your name in whatever I do.
I want to stop feeling this way about myself.
I want to start seeing and believing how You see me.
I want to start accepting that Your love is enough.
I don't want to be crippled anymore by the expectations of others.
I don't want to be paralyzed anymore by the fear of not being enough.
I don't want to be blind anymore to what I'm supposed to be seeing.
But this is not just for myself, because I know I cannot live just for myself.
And in knowing myself, in accepting myself, in accepting Your love...
I learn to love and live for others.
I learn to look beyond myself.
I learn to love the abundant life that You created for me.
I learn to be the best version of myself that You want me to be, being changed from glory to glory.
I learn to start living intentionally for Your glory.
Lord, help me to see.