And yet, sometimes I do

I should not awaken that which should not be awakened.

I should not fan the flames of that which should not be on fire.

I should not be wishing for things that have no business of being wished for.

I should not long for things that cannot be longed for.

I should not dream that which has no place in my life.

And yet, sometimes, I do. 

I awaken. I fan. I wish. I long. I dream. 

Even if the pain of unrequitedness may make me double over and throw up and despair.

I cannot help myself.